Leadership and respect are synonymous with each other. Are they really? Don’t we earn respect, not give it?
I have gone through a transition in my own life over the last year pertaining to my thoughts on respect. When I would meet someone for the first time I would often look to see if they looked me in the eye when shaking my hand, observe the firmness of their handshake and then rate the first thing they said to me.
You see, when I met unfamiliar people, I had no trust or respect for them; they had to earn this from me. I felt people who never deserved trust and respect disappoint people who merely granted trust and respect.
Well let me tell you this: I was living a very negative life and it cost me the ability to get to know many great people. Only within the past year, I have the chance to spend time with the incredible people here at Infusionsoft who have transformed my world. Not only the way I give and receive trust and respect, but also the entire way I look at the world.
I used to use a term that made my boss, Clate Mask, cringe when I said, “No good deed goes unpunished.” I remember the second time he heard this come out of my mouth he stopped me and said, “Adam, if you are expecting your good deeds to be rewarded back to you, you are missing the point of the good deed. Do not ask what a good deed will return to you; ask what the impact of the good deed has on the person you are granting it to.” That one comment changed my life.
Meeting someone for the first time now is awesome. Everybody has a unique story and I want to hear it. The coolest part of my transformation was my realization: I wasn’t holding back giving trust and respect, I was afraid that people would not respect me; therefore, I held my trust and respect for others very close to the vest.
I believe this has made me a tremendously more effective leader — think about it — if people give you trust and respect, do you not perform better? How do you give and get respect?
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