Leadership and respect are synonymous with each other. Are they really? Don’t we earn respect, not give it?
I have gone through a transition in my own life over the last year pertaining to my thoughts on respect. When I would meet someone for the first time I would often look to see if they looked me in the eye when shaking my hand, observe the firmness of their handshake and then rate the first thing they said to me.
You see, when I met unfamiliar people, I had no trust or respect for them; they had to earn this from me. I felt people who never deserved trust and respect disappoint people who merely granted trust and respect.
Well let me tell you this: I was living a very negative life and it cost me the ability to get to know many great people. Only within the past year, I have the chance to spend time with the incredible people here at Infusionsoft who have transformed my world. Not only the way I give and receive trust and respect, but also the entire way I look at the world.
I used to use a term that made my boss, Clate Mask, cringe when I said, “No good deed goes unpunished.” I remember the second time he heard this come out of my mouth he stopped me and said, “Adam, if you are expecting your good deeds to be rewarded back to you, you are missing the point of the good deed. Do not ask what a good deed will return to you; ask what the impact of the good deed has on the person you are granting it to.” That one comment changed my life.
Meeting someone for the first time now is awesome. Everybody has a unique story and I want to hear it. The coolest part of my transformation was my realization: I wasn’t holding back giving trust and respect, I was afraid that people would not respect me; therefore, I held my trust and respect for others very close to the vest.
I believe this has made me a tremendously more effective leader — think about it — if people give you trust and respect, do you not perform better? How do you give and get respect?
Nice post, Adam. You have my trust, respect and appreciation. Thanks for being at great leader.
You have my respect for posting such an honest, personal article. I feel inspired to do the same.
Just came across an excerpt from Joe Torre’s soon to be released book and it made me think again of your post:
“You know, Zimmer didn’t trust Cash, and I disagreed with Zimmer vehemently for the longest time. Then, you know, you start thinking about things … I have a, I don’t want to say it’s a weakness, but I want to trust people. And I do trust people until I’m proved wrong. And it’s not going to keep me from trusting somebody else tomorrow, because it’s the only way I can do my job.”
Marc, thank you for your kind words, as my peer here at Infusionsoft your comments mean a great deal to me.
Dave, thank you for your quote and kind words. If we as leaders do not put ourselves out there then how can we expect to lead anyone.