I am in the midst of doing the dreaded contractor thing to have my pool remodeled and some patios built, so far I have had 12 contractors come out the house to give me some estimates. All of these contractors (sales people) are really nice and want to be helpful.

(Of course they are, they want me to sign their contracts.)

The first four contractors arrived, glanced a look at my pool and surrounding area and then asked me, “What do you want to do sir?” I would obviously reply with well, we want to do X, Y, and Z with the pool, patio, etc. They would ask a few questions here and there to clarify some things and then they would launch into their dreaded “I am so Great Speech,” which made these meetings balloon out to 90 minutes. After that, they either sat down and try to put together a bid for me or they told me it would take a few days. Funny thing, they all said they were overwhelmed with work right now (yeah right).

The fifth contractor came to my house. I found myself not letting the contractor ask me what I wanted; as soon as they showed up I just started into my own dissertation about what I wanted and needed for the pool and patios. Amazingly, they listened, took notes, asked a few questions and maybe wrote up a bid or left and will send me the bid. This was great I had these meetings down to 20 minutes or so. I thought I had figured this game out, I have to say I was pretty proud of myself!

Everything changed when the last contractor showed up. I am quite glad he came, he changed my entire outlook on this project. Chris came walked in, we exchanged pleasantries with each other and I walked him out to the pool, I started into my normal routine that I was quite proud to have down by this point. Then he did it.

He actually interrupted me and asked me to share with him my vision for my entire backyard. I was quite stunned, I said, “Why does that matter?” I mean I only wanted my pool remodeled and some patios built. He overcame my objection by helping me see that what I plan to do with this section of the yard would likely dictate what I do with the rest of the acre I have yet to landscape.

Wow! Chris was actually going to take concern about my entire vision and not just the pool I want to remodel? There has to be a catch here, well there was and I am glad there was. Chris, my lovely wife Luanna and I spent two hours walking the backyard, he got us to open up to about what we really wanted to do, why we wanted, agreeing with us on some points, but respectfully disagreeing with us on other areas. It was great to have someone that was that interested, that knowledgeable spend the time with us to understand our true vision. You see when Chris asked the question of what our vision was we thought we knew, turns out we didn’t.

Two hours later, I gladly handed a check over to Chris to design our entire backyard for us, and oh yeah, he is going to give us a bid on our pool as well.

This is a great example of question-based selling and not trying to sell a product, but to sell a vision of what your buyer needs and wants. Chris was able to discover what the value was to my wife and I, and ultimately earned my business.

How do you sell, are you using value-based question selling?

P.S. You can now follow me on Twitter, I’m @ACRossAZ.

–Adam

[Image Credit: Bartek Kuzia on Flickr]

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President Obama’s speech mentioned John Wilson at NC Design Group, which runs 1st Choice Cabinetry in Raleigh, North Carolina, who said it well:

“Small business people are incredibly resilient and resourceful given half a chance. But we need the chance.”

Raising the guarantee on SBA loans to 90% and purchasing $15 billion in SBA loans is a start to where we need to go. The good news is that this move will get some of the secondary credit markets back open for small business owners in this country, however I suspect it will simply free up existing loans and lines of credit. In order for this plan to succeed, we — the American entrepreneur — will need to see new lending taking place.

One of the more controversial pieces of the President’s plan is the elimination of capital gains taxes for private investors for small businesses.

Established entrepreneur and business woman Sramana Mitra has written about bootstrapping as a weapon for mass reconstruction, but she also discusses tax policy and stimulus issues as well. Infusionsoft’s CEO, Clate Mask, noted in a comment on her post titled, “Stimulus Package for Entrepreneurs,” that “…stimulating angel investment in small business is spot on. Every entrepreneur needs a rich uncle… and most of us don’t have one.”

While there may be opposition and concern about the President’s plan to eliminate the capital gains tax for investments in small or startup businesses, those that are in opposition are missing the point. This reduction will give angel investors currently sitting on the sidelines the incentive and encouragement needed for them to invest. As all of us entrepreneurs know, very few of us are going to go to a tier 1 or tier 2 VC firm for capital. It will be our own local angel investors who will stimulate growth in our businesses.

It is too early to tell what impact this first step is going to make on the economy and the small business owner, however it is a refreshing step to get the American entrepreneur focusing on the positive news. Only the American entrepreneur has what it takes to rebuild our country stronger than it was before.

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I have gone through a transition in my own life over the last year pertaining to my thoughts on respect. When I would meet someone for the first time I would often look to see if they looked me in the eye when shaking my hand, observe the firmness of their handshake and then rate the first thing they said to me.

You see, when I met unfamiliar people, I had no trust or respect for them; they had to earn this from me. I felt people who never deserved trust and respect disappoint people who merely granted trust and respect.

Well let me tell you this: I was living a very negative life and it cost me the ability to get to know many great people. Only within the past year, I have the chance to spend time with the incredible people here at Infusionsoft who have transformed my world. Not only the way I give and receive trust and respect, but also the entire way I look at the world.

I used to use a term that made my boss, Clate Mask, cringe when I said, “No good deed goes unpunished.” I remember the second time he heard this come out of my mouth he stopped me and said, “Adam, if you are expecting your good deeds to be rewarded back to you, you are missing the point of the good deed. Do not ask what a good deed will return to you; ask what the impact of the good deed has on the person you are granting it to.” That one comment changed my life.

Meeting someone for the first time now is awesome. Everybody has a unique story and I want to hear it. The coolest part of my transformation was my realization: I wasn’t holding back giving trust and respect, I was afraid that people would not respect me; therefore, I held my trust and respect for others very close to the vest.

I believe this has made me a tremendously more effective leader — think about it — if people give you trust and respect, do you not perform better? How do you give and get respect?

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Let me expand on why I am writing this for you.

Recently, I spoke with one of my mentors and coaches in my life, a man I have followed with undying devotion for many years. We were talking about what true leadership is (he is in a unique situation to coach and train many leaders across many sections of business), he wanted to know what my definition of leadership is.

I told him I felt leadership was simple to define and put into action. I summed it up with these attributes:

• Leaders have an undying faith in what they can accomplish, all the while confronting the brutal reality of their current situation.
• A leader never takes credit for anything, they give credit where credit is due.
• A leader always takes the blame for everything.
• A leader always surrounds themselves with people who are better than they are.
• A leader’s flock shows up every day to make their leader proud of them, they work for the leader first, their company second and their paycheck third.

My mentor dug a bit deeper with me and asked what I felt where the underlying fundamentals for these items to exist? My answer is simple; none of the items above can be achieved without the complete trust and respect from the people who work with you.

I am curious to hear from you — how do you gain the trust and respect from the individuals who work with you?

[Image credit: Bob Reck on Flickr]

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Last week, my wife was driving the kids home from school and our four year old asked what Thanksgiving was about, she told him it was a special time of the year when we get to really thank God for everything he has given us. She then asked him what he was thankful for, in traditional four year old processing he sat there for a little bit thinking about what he wanted to say. The next thing that came out of his mouth was incredible.

He piped up and said, “Mommy, I know what I am thankful for, I am thankful for hot dogs.” She replied with “Hot dogs?” He rebutted, “Yes, hot dogs, I am thankful that I have all the hot dogs I need.”

With everything that is happening right now, it sometimes takes a four year old to put things in perspective. Too often, we run around worrying about everything, when we should be focusing on the simple things like hot dogs. It is easy for all of us to focus on the things that we want: the houses, the cars, the jewelry and the toys. But when you bring it all back to center, the most important thing is the health of our families and the ability to provide the essentials for them (even if those are hot dogs).

My family does not love me because I buy them things; they love me because I am there for them; I spend time with them and I protect them. The one thing you can give yourself and your family is to be there, just be there for them.

I am thankful I can be there for my family. As we all know when we are no longer on this earth, the people we leave behind will not be asking why couldn’t he have made more money; however they will wish they had more time to spend with us!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, enjoy your families.

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